So i went for a Nando's last night and being vegetarian its a hard task. It took me about half an hour to find the vegetarian stuff i nearly just gave up and ate a whole chicken! Anyway im telling you this as im tracing my steps. I had my wallet there so i cant have left it there as i also had it afterwards when i purchased a bottle of water and some sweets. We then got in the car and drove to a carpark where we met up with everyone so we could plan what to do that night (last night).
In the end a game of Manhunt was decided. Now i must stress at this point that we are a group of 18 year olds who found a bit of magic from the depths of our childhood and all of a sudden i was 10 years old again and the most important thing in my life was getting home and not having someone lay a hand on me to say the dreaded words of "manhunt!".
So we were playing manhunt for a couple of hours across and expance which is rather alrge for a small game of manhunt. It was at asda park. nowfor those of you who dont know the area ill put up a map and you can see where abouts this wallet could be. and if you pin point where it is i'll personally come all the way to your house with chocolate and flowers and buy you a drink. If you dont drink sweets. if you dont eat sweets a nice fresh loaf of bread! Either way this area was quite large and well with me being a 10 year old i didnt care much for my life as my lie was getting home. Now my jeans i've just bought are pretty tight on me so i cant see how anything would have fallen out. If my keys managed to stay in my back pocket then how didnt my wallet! That thing would have been so closely pressed up against my arse that not even a kings cross station pickpocket would have a chance at it, and neither would those guys and girl from The Real Hustle.
So about round 3 of manhunt me and 2 others had a solid position to get home from. Unfortunately it all went tits up when we dropped guard and we were being the hunted. Like a david attenborough documentary the lions were after us and us the gazelle did what they do everytime. Stop for a second, shit themselves and then run like the wind! i did that until i was faced with a hedge. I remembered from earlier that there was a gap somewhere on the bush but it wasnt all that obvious and nor was it in pitch black darkness with only the moon and about 4 shitty street lights 3 of which couldnt have been more than 5 watts. There i am running at the bush then a 50/50 chance i will make it through the hedge, all i need to do ic choose the right gap. I'll tell you this now. I didnt. I chose very badly! i jumped into a sharp hedgerow only to be thrown back out of it. I now have war wounds for the dedication of getting home. Shame i 'have that kind of respect and passion for my belongings! Sadly at that time for me, i didn't.
Now i retraced my steps and i have a map with a perimeter made of where it could be. This is just one of 4 locations i visited last night so this is stage 1. But i weighed up the stats and im most likely to have lost in here. here is a map courtesy of google maps.
The red dots highlight the places i did things and movements in which i could have lost it. The big circle represents the perimeter of where i went that fateful night.
My injury is to the left. The evil bush may have won this time but my body heals in time and then i shall go back and cut down that bush!My wallet is still missing somewhere in the wilderness. He's scared and lonely and i just pray for his safety and my identity. The moral of the story is don't play manhunt with a wallet in your pocket instead put it down at home in a draw or a safe and just come out with 3 quid. That way it's not a loss if you happen to drop it all.
Thankyou for reading, if you made it this long. im not sure why anyone would even want to read this shit but its kinda fun to make. Adios! Ciao! Goodbye!
No comments:
Post a Comment